Kill me de una vez

Jim and I are on a break. A BREAK ! Will somebody explain to me just what in the world that means! I think only gringos can use something like that so loosely... I think i need a break, or I need some space.... F*&%#ing move to Mars ! But I love him and I'm sure we are supposed to be getting married, so I tolerate it.

I feel sooo sad and lonely. It was different when I knew he didn't call because he was busy or when i couln't talk to him because I was busy, but it's just a completely different thing when I know he doesn't call because he is thinking about "us" and really needs to figure out what is it that he wants.