My new best friend

In my old life as a single woman I worked with teenagers, we did projects in going to college, participating in the community, doing volunteer service. Most of the time I was able to see positive results, which is the thing that motivated me, and them, to keep working.

Now, what I do is not showing many results, and I’m alone most of the day. Husband doesn’t get home until after 5:30 and after dinner the only thing he is in the mood for is television, which is starting to suck my brain out cell by cell. At night I can’t sleep, all those colorful images and weird sounds come back to my brain and play games with my head all night. For example, we just finished watching the whole series of Angel, the vampire with a soul. Very interesting TV show, one of the best I’ve seen; but when I went to bead after watching it I would dream of monsters and demons. When they ended the show with a “to be continued…” I would dream of what could happen and that really scared me.

Anyway, I’ve never been good at making friends. I always had so many sisters that I didn’t have to worry about making friends, I had people to talk to all the time. But now in a new town, with new people, so far from my family it’s kinna lonely.

Then I discovered baking. Wow ! did you know you can make your own cookies? Last year, I thought people who baked were just plain crazy and didn’t have anything better to do… and I didn’t like sitting in a kitchen for so long. Now my best friend is my oven. I can make wonderful things in it and everybody likes them. YES, acceptance from other people has always been a big problem for me.

Now, I started by making shortbread, then awful horrible muffins, that my in-laws ate and told me they were good, but if you ask me they were discussing. Then came shortbread cookies, I didn’t like them, my husband did, then mexican surprise cakes, with were a hit on the christmas party. Peanut butter blossoms, sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, more sugar cookies, chocolate marshmallow cookies, and peanut butter chocolate swirls.

Now that I have made at least 10 dozens of all kinds of things, and my favorite aisle in the grocery store is the baking aisle. I used to not have a favorite aisle. I now have baking soda, baking powder, nutmeg, cinamon, cream of tartar, sprinkles, baking cocoa, baking chocolate chips, vanilla extract, baking chocolate. When I was single i didn't know what half of those were.

As much fun as I’m having it still makes me feel sad that my best friend is the oven, and that the thing I want the most is more butter and a hand held mixer.