Ok, so we are not in a break

Last weekend I went to jim's graduation. He didn't invite me I invited myself. I knew that his graduation was the day before the deadline that i had given him, for SPACE, but i had to be there. I got to see him working on this soooo hard for two years and I just had to be there.

I gave him until wednesday to call me and invite me, I waited like a complete loca for the F*&^%$$ phone to ring and i wasn't doing it. Like i said i kept myself busy to the point that i would feel sick the next morning. Anyway at the same time i was planning a christmas party for everybody in LADO and techbridge and an intercambio. Thursday night after waiting I took a couple deep breaths and called. Busy..... called his cell... it was turned off..... call his appartment again.... busy..... i was starting to feel sick. It was 9:45 and i know that one he goes to bed he does not answer the phone, even if he can hear it. At 10:05 i called again and my stomach started turning. After 3 rings he picked up.
"hello" he answered.
"Hey it's me, i just wanted to ask you a couple of questions." I said without even stopping to ask how he was.
"Ok" he said.
"First, are you still going to your graduation". I asked him.
"I got the outfit for it" he answer, which i took to mean, They are dragging me there even though i don't want to go".
"ok, then Am I invited to your graduation" I asked.
A 5 second silence that felt more like the two weeks that i hadn't spoken to him.
"If you want to come" he finally manage to get out.
Am i suppossed to take that as a yes, or i wasn't going to invite you but if you are coming there is nothing that i can possibly do to stop you." I said critically. By this 30 seconds of conversation i was already sooooo sorry that i had even bother.
His voice was cold and unemotional.
"No, that means I don't know if you have time to come or if you have to go right away" He said. "I WAS going to call you and invite you but everytime that you come you always have to go and rush back, that i didn't think you would want to come".

I wanted to start yelling at him, "What??? this is only one of the most important days of your life and you don't care for me to be there??"
I tried to stay calm and said to him " but i want to go, I want to be there."
"Ok, what time are you planning to go home?" he asked as calm and cold hearted as he could.
I went from angry to sad and pathetic. How could he not want me to be there, did he really not care about me the same way he had only couple of years ago?

"how does that matter" i asked confused
"well, there is no point on you coming here if you will be leaving in 2 hours".
He was being soo mean, or at least it felt like it.
No, I'm getting there at 8 in the morning and coming back at 5." I replied back to him.
"Ok", he answered but it didn't sound like he cared.
"Do you know how to get to Giant center?" he asked.
Why is he asking me this, he has taken me there at least 30 times over the last two years.
"yes" I answered back to him in a not so happy tone.
"you will need a parking permit, do you have one?"
Now i was starting to get upset, he wasn't asking me to meet him at his place so that we could all leave in the same car with him, his parents and be a mini family. No, he wasn't asking that. He was telling me that if i wanted to go there I had to go there on my own car.

"no," i said to him, without daring to question him about why we wouldn't go together.

"I will fax you one to work tomorrow"
"ok, i will e-mail you the fax number at work".
"Anything else?" he asked
What did he mean anything else, yes..... a lot more. Why haven't you called me, have you even missed me, why didn't you call before, is there somebody else that is already going in the car and that is why i am not allowed to go with you? Yes, a million questions. But i could not say that
"yes, but do we talk about it now?"
"no, i guess there would be time for that another day". He answered. "or is there anything you would like to say"
"NO, because if i start to say it i will cry." I can't believe i had said that.