The perfect thanksgiving

Halloween is here, and thanksgiving is just around la esquina. Of course, as a newly married couple, along with adjusting to a new life comes the question "Where are we spending thanksgiving?"

Mi familia y yo realmente no celebramos Thanksgiving, if anythig we should ban it from our calendars! but because of our jobs, we end up forced to celebrate it. My dad gets a turkey at his job, the only free thing that the company gives their employees to keep them quiet about medical benefits, vacation time, holiday pay and overtime pay. We end up cooking the bird and eating until our stomach hurts.

With JJ is more of a tradition, something that they have been doing all their lives. Therefore a lot more meaningful to the JJ's than to my family. That, however, does not mean that I want do send 4 days with his parents.

Then there is also Black Friday, the official shopping day of the year. I have spent most of my black fridays working, because i hate standing on line at a store for more thatn 3 minutes. But i get a feeling that this year i might want to do it.

Before the wedding we tried to agree on splitting holidays. His parents got Thanksgiving, but my brothers begged me to go home for the thanksgiving. My poor little monkeys miss me, and i miss them soo much. And i don't like to spend more than 2 days with his parents, i'm used to a house full of noise, 2 tv's playing at the same time, loud mexican music and the smell of mole all throughout the house.

He would like it, but to me the perfect Thanksgiving would be to spend that thursday with his parents. Go shopping for a little bit on Friday and then drive down to my parents house on saturday morning. It would be just lovely!

Philly on a Friday

We woke up at 3 am. Got up at around 3:15 am. The boys were not getting up, they had gone to bed only 3.5 hours before the alarm went off. Dad was running around the house, he gets up at this time everyday to go to work. He is not used to getting up so early but it is a little bit easier for him. Dad kept pushing mom to hurry up and get going, and mom kept telling him to stop.

I get up and go to the bathroom to put on my clothes and my contacts. It's cold and the weather guy said that it was going to rain most of the day. Half awake i walk downstairs to have something quick for breakfast, otherwise i will fall asleep on the way to Philly.

When i get downstairs most of the family is there already, dad, the boys and Meche; Mom is still upstairs getting papers.

We get on the car at 4:05, and dad is yelling at everybody to hurry up. "We were supposed to leave at 4:00!!" My dad is very careful with details like this, but maybe i should tell him that the clock in my car is fast with about 15 minutes.... maybe not, he will yell at me and it's too early for me to pay attention.

We drive to Philly and there is almost nobody on the road, i mean it is 4 in the morning. Only mushroom pickers and truck drivers.

We got there at 5:30 in the morning. The door that we were trying to get in from was closed, the lights inside were turned on, then my dad looked in and saw people inside. We walked around the building to try to go in through the door and get in that line. I can not belive it, it's 5:30 in the morning and there is people there already.

We arrive and there is at lest 30 people in front of us, i can not believe we have to wait for 3 more hours until they open... and 4 before they open the shops.

People fight to stay on the line to get a "ficha" they are soo rude. While the women wait standing on line, the men sit down and drink coffee, just like my dad is doing.

At 8:00, half an hour later than they were supposed to, the people from the consulate open the doors and start giving out "fichas" just applications with numbers. We get # 7-11.

We, well I, hurry up to fill out the application, and go outside to make the copies. Then go back in the office to get the application in, pay for it and wait. We were done with the whole process by 11:30, starving and tired. The man only gave me a little bit of trouble when i didn't hand him everything that he needed at the second that he asked for it, he made me mad, but he is just a jerk and i do not plan on wasting my energy on him, i had been up since 3.

We had lunch at the new Mexican restaurant in the mall, it refreshing to see that somebody has finally opened a taqueria next to the Mexican consulate. I took the monkeys to the mall that was only 4 blocks away; it was raining, but i know that they will rather go out in the rain that stay one more minute at that place. We came back at around 2:30, couple of years ago they called our name while we were in the store. We wait and we wait, it's 3:00 pm and rumors are that the passports will not be done until 4:00. At 4:30 rumors are now that they won't be done until 6....

At 5:45 the passports are ready and we head out the door 12 hours after we arrived.

Darth vader pumkin

It was my first carving pumking party, well my first pumkin carving. I have no creativity for anything that is not listening to La Ley and making enchiladas.

As we were deciding if we wanted to attend the party, we ( I ) came up with the idea of making a darth vader pumking. There is nothing scarier than Darth Vader, right ?

So based on the picture i did the design and he did the cutting. I almost messed it up but here it is, our master piece. Yes, i know we are soo dorky !

I work at an office, so i'm better than you !

AAAAHHHHH !!! Tomorrow i'm going to the Mexican Consulate in Philladelphia. I hate going there, not just because i have to get up at 3:00 am. Leave at 4 and try to beat the trafic of people coming to work to the city, neither because we have to camp outside the office from 6 in the morning until they open at 8:30am. or because my husband has refused to come with me, well not refuse, but he is doing one of those "i can't get out of work" speeches that he always gives me when I want him to come with me somewhere, just like he did when we went to NYC to see La Ley, no i'm not over it yet. Anyway I also don't hate it because of having to take a personal day, with no pay, nor because of the4 hour wait after they have gone through the application.

The reason why i hate going there is the staff... they are a bunch of jerks, who treat everybody in the office as if they were totally stupid. They like to think that because they work in the Mexican cousulate office they are better than anybody else in the world.

Last time that we were there, they made me fill out the application for the passport 3 times !! and each time that they were there to review it, the guy would go line by line to make sure that all the information was correct. I know that people do that in offices, but this guy was worse. I found anything that he could to make me fill out the app again!! E.g. I am used to writting the date 10/20/05, but in mexico they always write the day first, then the month, (20/10/05). Also they go line by line, "Luisa C. Soto, where is your mother's last name? fecha de nacimiento, Agosto 26,1982. Que dia de la semana fue? (si, alguien me pregunto eso), " The next one really amazed me, mostly because i thought that if they had such an inferiority complex of being smart, they could at least have common sense, "Dice aqui que usted es de Mexico, porque no tiene la direccion de Mexico en su solicitud?" what? Porque vivo en los estados unidos!!

I would think that if they will review line by line with you, they might as well fill out the app for you, but no why would they do that?? they also give a hard time to people, like my father, who didn't go to school for more than 2 years. They make them fill out an app at least 4 times, because they claim that they can't understand the handwritting. Bull !!!

Then they ask for 2 copies of everything, everything... i'm suprised they don't make you take off your shirt and make a photocopie of that. 2 copies of the Mexican birth certificate, 2 copies of old passport, 2 copies of proof of addres in Mexico and here, 2 copies of parents marriage certificate and 2 copies of mexican voter registration card. They will not, under any circumstances, take any american identification, they even get offended if you show them a state driver license.

Most of the people working at this office are mexicans that attended a university in Mexico, and that makes them feel that the Mexicans that didn't even finish elementary school owe them respect. I've only met a handful of people that believe that, truly believe that. Fatty and Jose H. Fatty only did one semester in a mexican university and now attends a community college, Jose H. did 3 years in a Mexican university and now, also attends a community college. I've seen fatty express this when at his job, he has to create registration forms for mexican students. for Fecha de nacimiento, he feels that it doesn't explain enough and he has to go into more detail, and says Fecha de Nacimiento - (dia) (mes) (año). Once we had somebody fill this out in the following way: Fecha de nacimiento : miercoles (dia) septiembre (mes) 1981. and and the bottom "para que quieren saber que dia?" Fatty thought they were dumb, and found it very amusing, made a copie of the document and posted it in his desk.

The good side of going to the consulate will be that there is a Ross a couple of blocks away, so while we wait for them fo do the passport, at the risk of them calling our names to tell us that we need one more copy of the size for our underwear, we will be shoping.

His …. Sorry, OUR very messy apartment

Yes, this is how I live. I try to clean, and he cleans too, but we always manage to make a new mess. Most of my life I have lived not cleaning stuff, my philosophy was “why clean it, is only going to get dirty again?” but it only applied to beds and rooms.

Virgos are supposed to be very organized, very clean and very neat. Well most of those qualities apply to me, but only in certain parts of my life. Like my school work, my appearance and my job. It should make sense that all of those wonderful qualities would apply to my car, my bed, my living room and my make up drawers, but of course it doesn’t….

Married life has come to prove that all that used to be nice and easy when single is weird and complicated in married life.

JJ is a very neat guy, he wears suits to work everyday and he pays his bills on time. But We can’t seem to find a way to keep clean our coffee table for more than 5 hours…

We both work on it everyday, we don't live like pigs but it would be nice to be able to see the coffee table.

I told him... but he never listened

Fatty called me on Friday. He is having trouble with his ex-girlfriend again. Back in August he didn't follow my advice to ask her back and she got tired of waiting and found somebody else. It's been two months and he is not over it yet. Long story made short, he was a jerk to her, she dumped him and she even tried to get back with him, but he was too proud to take her back; entonces ella se busco a otro. Fatty ahora la quiere, porque sabe que no la puede tener.

He tells me that he wants her back, that she is the only girl for him, that he will never meet somebody like her. And then he tells me that she is dumb for going out with this new guy, that she is immature, that she doesn't know what she wants, that she is going to get what she deserves for going out with this dude.

Back in september I told him that he needed to give himself some time to think about the whole situation. Time to learn from the mistakes he did with her, time to find out what he wanted from a relationship, time to learn what he wanted from life; but did he listen? of course not ! He took her call as soon as she dialed his number.

I used to think that Fatty was more of a modern kinna mexican dude, until he said this words "if she wants to have sex before she get married and ruin herself, it's up to her, i know that I won't want her, and neither will any other guy". WHAT ? how dared him say this ??? He has told me himself that he has had sex with other girls, and he has never been married. Who gives him the right to say this about this girl?

Then he stalks her... he checks her phone bill to see when she talks to her new boyfriend, talk to her parents about what she is doing, talk to Her mom to chismearle (gossip) de ella... God Fatty, please hon.... stop chasing her !! If she still wants to be with you, i doubt it, she will come back.

It is worth it...

Saturday at the Mall i looked for fall/winter shoes. I love my high heels but they are not very snow friendly and they don't keep my toes warm. I don't make a lot of money anymore so my budget is a lot tighter than it used to be so buying more shoes is out of the question.

My suegra took me to the Mall to shop for boots, i should have never said that i needed them, we looked in every shoe store and deparment store at the mall, thank god for the small Mall.

I found this really cute shoes (above), not me at all but perfect for the fall. They are soo comfy and cute. I also found cute boots, for only $15.

My suegra is the nicest person I have met in a long long time. She is polite, clean and so dedicated to her life as a mother and as a wife. The one thing about her that bothers me is the way that she is always trying to connect with my culture; not because she is trying, but because she tries the wrong way. I wish that she would understand that my culture and heritage are only about 30% of who I am, not the whole me. For example, I wish that she could understand that I don't buy retail, unless it's something absolutely neccesary, i wish that she would understand that I don't wear prints in any way, not broided, not painted, not sawn together. I wear plain colors, and not just any colors, most of the time only black, pink, red and gray. But she insist on trying to make me like her or like the mexican version of her.

JJ and her were talking about me in the phone, she told him that I was nervous when i bought the shoes, because i was afraid of what he would say. Yes, i have had to adapt to a married life, mostly because JJ has a very tight budget, but I wasn't afraid of what he would say; mostly I was afraid of not having enough money to buy a lunch during the week. When i explained that to him, he asked me "is it worth it?" Yes, a good pair of shoes is worth not having lunch for a couple of days. They last longer than a lunch anyway.

Lyrics to YOU come and Go by La LEY

Amazing song !

You Come And Go lyrics
Artist - La Ley
Album - Various Songs
Lyrics - You Come And Go

thought I had to change my face to please the world that
pushed me through the other side a plastic dream, a lie, a mascarade another way to fool myself

people talk a bullshit walks their lives are stories
living in their minds I'm just another flash on the
evening news I don't give a damn about what they say

hu hu hu hu hu ha ha vas y vienes hu hu hu hu hu
hasta donde quieres

I sneak around their hidden faces
they say yes indeed, you look divine I bet you that a million
years from now they'll never ever realize they've died

people talks a bullshit walks their lives are stories from
their simple minds I'm just another freak on a late night show
I don't give a damn about what they say

hu hu hu hu hu ha ha vas y vienes
hu hu hu hu hu y juegas a volar tu mente
hu hu hu hu hu ha ha das y tienes
hu hu hu hu hu y juegas a mirar tu muerte

tu est loin, très loin de tous ces regards vicieux
qui s'alimentent de ta lumière
y juegas a volar tu mente hu hu hu hu hu ha ha vas y vienes
hu hu hu hu hu y juegas a volar tu mentehu ha ha
vas y vienes hu hu hu hu hu ha ha you come go
hu hu hu hu hu y juegas a volar tu mente

Esta loco

Cuando yo estaba en la secundaria, Middle school, en Mexico todas las chicas ricas eran perfeccionistas, querian que sus cuadernos have everything perfect. Nothing out of the margin, nothing with white out, no mistakes when they wrote. I hated hearing them rip out pages of paper everytime they made a mistake, and i hated hear them complain about how they had to start all over again. I took that as a sign of inperfection on my side, sin pensar que es imposible ser tan perfecto.

Despues de años de escuela he aprendido que esto puder ser visto como perfeccionismo o como un obssesive compulsive dissorder. La verdad es que no me importa, y que ha pasado con ellas no lo se.

Este nene estudiante en mi clase es uno de ellos. Esta llenando una solicitud de empleo para una tienda, y la otra maestra le dijo que todo tenia que ser perfecto en la solicitud. El siempre ha estado un poco loco, y sigue ordenes tontas sin pensarlo dos veces, y desobedece si se le da la gana. Esta es una de las veces que quisiera golpearlo en la cabeza!!! ha llenado 5 solicitudes, y cada una solo tiene un minimo detalle que esta mal... It's driving me crazy!

Lui

Sueños

This weekend I was dreaming about Eduardo, from my ESL class. It freaked me out. I haven't seen him or talked to him since we went out to see a movie, which was a strange day. Not a date, just a day out with one of my ESL students, yes weird i know.

I met him when he came to the ESL classes, but didn't really talk to him until Jen told me that he was going to become a priest, but changed his mind and moved to US. We started talking about that and went on for about an hour, not only from his priesthood, but about life. We exchanged phone numbers later and we stayed out talking about computers another day.

Anyway, in my dream he was mad at me. He refused to talk to me and pretended not to see me. I was upset, why was he mad? then i realized that he knew i was married... then i woke up, next to my husband. I never told him that i was getting married, just like i didn't tell many people, it was necessary and i hated getting those weird questions from People. My intentions were not to go out with him, or date him, but i just never got around to telling him. In my dream he felt hurt that i hadn't said that, not because he wanted to go out with me, but because as his "friend" i didn't mention it.

I kept thinking about that dream, and wondering why. I am happy with JJ most of the time; Eduardo and I had almost nothing in common, he was only here for a short time, he didn't know about everything about being a mexican living in US. But i keep thinking about him. I wish that i could take him out of my head!

El fin de semana

Wow ! i can't belive is monday already! why are weekends soo short? So, we had a good weekend, it rained all friday night and all day long saturday. Not so much fun when you have to drive for 1 hour and a half. We gave the monkeys (mis hermanitos) their presents and they seem to really like them, but we can never tell with them.

We ate pozole at mom's house, it was soo amazing! My mom makes the best pozole !! We didn't really do anything for the boys, they were all doing their own thing, and Dorito boy spend most of his time with us, while burrito didn't even come down to say Hi.

We also went to Diana's wedding, I want to say that it was nice but it wasn't really all that nice. The invitation said that the ceremony would be at 14 hours... meaning 2:00 ? right? at least i hoped. We showed up at the reception hall at 5, we only wanted to stay for about an hour and then go home to spend more time with my family, but we waited about 2 hours for the bride to get there, it was horrible!

So this chica went all out for her wedding, she had all kinds of recuerdos, she had a band, and a dj. She had a 4 sheets fountain cake, she had at least 3 different types of mexican rice, 3 different entrees, 4 salads and tons and tons of beer.

Then there was a leak on the roof... they had to put trash cans and chairs around them to keep people from sliding, and the yellow Caution tape ! I would have died it that happened to me !!


Lui

Este fin de semana

Diana is getting married ! I am so happy for her and at the same time i think that she shouldn't get married. She is a very very nice girl, who only wants the best for herself and everybody, but her novio is a jerk! an overpossesive jerk.

Also we are celebrating el birthday de los gueros, mis hermanitos. They will not want a cake or food, but they will jump 5 feet if i tell them i will take them to the mall. Lokitos !



nothing to write today, sorry!

The Perfect Esposa

In 25 years that my mom has been married to my dad, she has only acted as his wife for 10. Not because she divorced him or because she didn't care about him, but because my dad has always lived in the United States. I am proud to say that my mom is my role model, but I could never be a wife like her.

Growing up i saw a lot of women do everything for their husbands, wash their clothes, fix their dinners and almuerzos, do their bed, iron their clothes, wash their dishes, changed the tv channel when he couldn't find the remote.... i've seen it everywhere. When i was 13 i decided that that would not be my life, that if a man loved me he would understand and marry me even if i didn't make him fresh frijoles everyday.

3 boyfriends in my life told me that those were the duties that they would expect from me, so i knew that it would not last with them.

Finally I found him, the one. He lived in his own apartment after graduating from college and did his own laundry and cooked his own meals. Until one day, after we got engaged, he told me that he needed help doing laundry and chores around the house. I almost broke up with him that second, instead I said "Well, i don't do cooking, cleaning or laundry". He didn't say anything back.

Sometime before the wedding i started to ask myself, is there really a perfect wife?is there a woman who will be willing to leave her life, dreams and ambitions behind to please this guy who said to be his "other half". What is she like? how does she wake up everyday to cook, clean and wash? where does she get this motivation?

Before the wedding too, JJ and I came up with a little bit of our "Marriage Plan". How will things work out after we moved in together and we stared our own family. I said that if i had to chose between washing the dishes or drying i would pick washing, i could do some laundry, as long he would agree to fold. I would cook dinner if he clean out the table.

Of course none of it has worked at planned, i end up doing more work than what i signed up for. So that brings me back to another question. Why am I trying to be the perfect wife? or am i just trying to save myself more work? i know that JJ will come around to clean the table, wash the dishe and fold the laundry, why don't i wait?

It's starting to annoy me that we do everything the way he wants and i get nothing in return, if it doesn't change what will happen ?

Hoy en la Vida de MRS W

Everyday is the same.

Alarm goes off at 6:00 am, along with the cellphone alarm that he set up. He hits snooze, 10 minutes later it goes off again. He hits snoze again. He does this about 4 times. This morning he didn't even bother to tell me that it was 6:45. I woke up automatically hating the sound of the alarm clock. JJ turned and hit snooze again.

I'm in the shower and i keep hearing the melody of the alarm clock in my head, or is it the real alarm?

After the shower i go and put on my lotion, Victorias' Secret pear something. I never like to prepare my clothes the night before, it feels weird. Besides i have to watch the weather before i get dressed. A weird habit that i developed after wearing a skirt on a 50ºF day.

I find the pants that i want to wear, and the shirt, but the problems is that i don't know what shoes to wear. I only have 20 pairs, out of which 3 are sneakers, 5 are open toe shoes, 3 are knee high boots, 4 are summer wedges and 3 are very uncomfortable to walk on. that leaves only my Charlies black heels with the flowers in the front. I reach out and grab them out their box as i run to the bathroom to say bye to JJ who is about to get out of the shower.

In my way out i heard that route 83 was backed up because of an accident, so i take 81 instead.

I stop at the Giant to pick up doughnouts, a bag of chips, a soda, and a newspaper. The kids from the class get hungry and lose interest in the class when we don't give them snacks.

I get to the oficce and check my e-mail, one e-mail from JJ and one from a freak i dated 6 years ago. Who does he think he is ? i hate him.

A Lopez calls me to gossip about nothing, he calls everyday. He is a nice guy but he thinks that he is the hottest thing happening right now, it's kinna sad. A month ago, right after Katrina, he called and told me that he was feeling miserable, i thought he was upset by the news about he hurricane, and i asked him "what is the matter?" "I don't have a girlfriend, and that is not fair." this coming from the guy who treated his girlfriend like crap.

Time to go home and cook something, i have no idea what to make for today. JJ will want to cook, but i don't want him to.

Isn't my life just so boring?

Parte de la historia

This freak that i dated when i was in high school wrote to me... how dared he ? I was very clear to him that i didn't want to be his friend when we broke up, and he knows I want nothing to do with him.

He writes to tell me that he has been thinking about me, and that he is not mad at me anymore for having dumped him... THAT WAS 6 YEARS AGO !! and that he doesn't hate me anymore either.... scary !

Tonight for Dinner

I don't like to cook, i never have. When I was a teenager my mom made me learn how to make the basics, bistek con cebollas, sopa de arroz, sopa de pasta, caldo de pollo, caldo de rez, frijoles, huevos fritos. With time i learned a couple of tricks to make the cooking easier, but not more fun.

My discovery of Banquet home style meals made me feel soo happy, until i made it and wanted to throw up after tasting it. Who did ever come up with the idea of putting chicken in a can? Same with frozen meals, except those made my Hermanito so sick he had to stay home for 2 days.

Ragu sauce can be pretty good with pasta, until I discovered the little italian restaurant that makes their own, and make the Ragu taste like a shoe. We would buy spaggetti there and ask for extra sauce, then save the rest for our own pasta.

Therefore, i make all my meals from scratch, or the closest to it that i can. I hate the Salsa that is sold in the super market, i hate the enchilada sauce, the guacamole, the mole doña Maria and don't even get me started on the tortillas; they all taste awful !! I do, however, love frozen peas, frozen corn, frozen pretzels, frozen dinner rolls and frozen fries.

My esposo thinks that i shouldn't worry too much about what i make for dinner, he loves those banquet things, that i find extra salty. He has in the fridge 1 big container or Ragu sauce and he has bought frozen meals and fake burritos.

Most of my meals include tortillas, rice, salsa de jitomate and some sort of popatoes.

This week I am planning to make Puertorican rice mexican style, i call it mexican style because is the recipe that my friend came up with and REAL puertorican rice tastes a lot better. Tostadas, grilled chicken with mash potatoes, chilaquiles and Quesadillas.

I'm hungry just from talking about it.